Monday, January 1, 2007

Put your boobs on!



Hey! It's the New Year! Happy New Year. I just gave my wife a New Year's smooch. She loved it. I loved it. Happy New Year!
The mariachi band coming from the Latino neighborhood behind us has just stopped playing as firecrackers have taken their place. Sounds festive and fun. Smells good, too. I smell carne asada, barbecuing meats, even now. The wife and I thought about just going over there but our neighborhood isn't the safest. Plus these parties, while large, are usually private anyway. All the tagging that seems to be popping up with greater frequency, more and more ambulance runs every night, cop cars parked in front of houses with the light bars pulsing anxiously back and forth- nope, we'll just stay put and watch the New Years celebrations in Spanish, Korean, Japanese, English. First year of my life I'm laying low on New Year's. I'm not even drunk!

My friends are working in the ER. I quit after I started nursing school. I had to quit. Management said I had to work 24 hours a week or leave. They blamed the contract the hospital had with the union. I think they knew that not having total control over my schedule gave them less manipulating power. Last semester I was in school four days a week, what could I do? Borrow and quit.
So my friends are working, getting double time and making fun of the drunks. I feel like a war veteran pining for action.
But as I remember, I was pretty burned out anyway and nursing school was a great reason to get out. But still, I miss working with my friends.
I reread my 1st post. Man, working with that ambulance company was a fucked up experience. And that was only the tip of the iceberg! I didn't even get to the hookers on Century Blvd. by LAX or the drunk driving yet! But we will save that for another time...
My New Years resolution: I WILL NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE'S BURNOUT, FRUSTRATION, OR INSECURITY EFFECT MY CORE FEELING ABOUT MYSELF OR MY ENVIRONMENT.

Angry Male Nurse wants to be angry, constructively.

You know lady nurses out there- I want you to listen to my brief encounter I had with an ex-coworker at the store today, ponder it.

Went to the store with the wife to pick up some goodies for a party tomorrow. Bumped into an old coworker, Thom. He has just finished nursing school at a community college and a preceptorship. Plans to take the NCLEX as soon as possible. Thom worked in my old ER for about two months. He left as soon as he got wind of the culture dynamic of the ER. Snobbery, gossip, and fake tits. Everyday was like a goddamn fashion show while patients sat in clothes soaked in urine, had medical complaints that never came close to being addressed, meanwhile they pranced about in ridiculously tight shirts, braided their hair, knit!, work on getting laid by your average misogynist firefighter. Sadly, a lot of them are in my age group. No fucking pride. Just bitchery.
HEY YOUNG NURSES, IF YOU SPEND MORE THAN AN HOUR GETTING YOURSELF READY FOR WORK THAN YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH BET THAT YOU AREN'T DOING YOUR JOB WHEN AT WORK. If you spend all that time and money on titties, hair, nails and inappropriate work clothing I seriously doubt you are going to be wiling to fuck all it up in one fell swoop by changing a homeless, septic, elderly code brown. Think about it. I've seen hotty nurses put foleys in like they are goddamn darts, and not because they are so busy that they have to hustle. They think they're too good for it, which is a tragedy. I never felt so good about myself as when I help an incapable human feel clean and dignified again. I'm not saying its the highlight of my shift or anything, but I know when I help clean someone up they appreciate it. I'm not above it, it's just good for my soul.
The tech's took up the slack of the sheer snobbery and incompetence of many of the young nurses, ADN and BSN alike, who were to busy living out a fantasy from the tv show "ER" to do their fucking jobs. We counted. We did the math. Out of all nurses under 40, half had fake breasts. Out of the charge nurse crew all of them except one. Seriously, 6 out of the 7 charges had fakes. Great working environment. Angry Male Nurse was born.
But I digress...

Here is the crux of my conversation with Thom:
Me: Where are you going to work? Have you picked a specialty?
Thom: I did my preceptorship in oncoIogy but I want ICU. I've checked out c------, h-------, t-------, and a laser dermatology clinic, I hear the pay can be really good on the side.
Me: Don't forget to check out C-----, they're opening up a new ICU ward, should be some great opportunities to get into management or charging, if you want.
Thom: Yeah, I heard they start new nurses at 4800 a month.
Me: Well, they just renegotiated, 5200 for new nurses.
Thom: That's what it's about, I'm not waiting to get recruited, I'm finding out the best there is.
Me: Exactly. See my beautiful wife's pregnant belly? I'm fucking paying for it.
Thom: Patient care starts with decent pay.
Me: Fucking A right.



So my point is, young female nurses, some of you, DEFINITELY NOT ALL, need to get with the program. Forget the typical
"all nurses are angels, this is a calling" bullshit. YOU ARE A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL. YOU HAVE A DEGREE. YOU ARE SO TOUGH THAT YOU DO THINGS ON A DAILY BASIS THAT SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF REGULAR PEOPLE. AND THEN YOU CLEAN THAT CRAP UP.

For the sake of my family, please dress professionally, not suggestively, and recognize your worth. What about your children, family. What if you become the only source of money?
Thom and I talk money. It's okay that we talk money. What will enable me to not burnout is my ability to distance the drama, the tragedy, and the stress from work and keep it from my personal life. I may give everything I have at work but it stops there. I am not an angel. I am a man with debts and obligations and a skill set that enables me to provide.

1 comment:

Kim said...

Wow - and you were meant to be a nurse, too! The right attitude makes it all work.

And, by the way, it takes me 30 minutes from a dead sleep to get ready for work and I dress to WORK!
: D No time for glamour - not in an ER.