Saturday, February 27, 2010

They're Winning

I live in the Pacific Northwest now. They view Californians the same way one keeps track of a bee that is buzzing around the picnic. If it gets too close to the food or the kids WE-WILL-SQUASH-IT!
I bring plague. I bring experiences they have not had. I bring experiences they cannot believe. I bring psychological trauma. I bring hurt. I bring a profound narcissism that make constructive criticism impenetrable. I bring stories that are funny in ways they couldn't have figured. I bring disgust of hierarchy. I bring open wounds. I bring contempt for myself. I bring the hope that this will all wash away.

I bring the notion that I know more, but I accomplish less, I don't care for their structure. I bring the shakes, pale faced adrenaline rushes, I bring old trauma.
And its not their job to see that I make it through.

I bring experience that has left me pondering the purpose of my knowledge the tangentiality of coincidence, I bring my hunger for numbness.I bring the idea that after you've met me you know something isn't right. Somehow, you want me to succeed.
Somebody let me in.

I bring greetings tucked in with apologies.